Alhamdulillah, another year has come.. I welcome 2012 with hopes and prayers that there will be more good news and happy endings for us all.
2011 was a very challenging year for me and Zairul. It tested our faith in God, our love for each other and our physical strength to be there for each other fully and faithfully..
In 2011, I had DCIS..
Back in February 2011, I was diagnosed with Stage 0 Breast Cancer or DCIS. DCIS is short for Ductal Carcinoma in situ. Apparently it is the most common type of non-invasive cancer. Ductal means that the cancer starts inside the milk ducts, carcinoma refers to any cancer that begins in the skin or other tissues (including breast tissues) that cover or line the internal organs, and in situ means “in its original place”. DCIS is called “non-invasive” because it hasn’t spread beyond the milk duct into any normal surrounding breast tissue.
The good news is DCIS isn’t life-threatening, but the bad news - having DCIS can increase the risk of developing an invasive breast cancer later on. Well basically, when you have had DCIS, you are at a higher risk for the cancer coming back or for developing a new breast cancer than a person who has never had breast cancer before. Yikes.. I’m now part of the cancer statistics.
When I got news of the DCIS.. my world fell apart. Literally. I cried and cried and cried. I feared death, of being away from Zairul.. and of course - What will happen to Kiki & Zarif? Huhu :( Brings tears every time I think of it, even now.
Since the diagnosis I have gone for 2 operations, with wonderful doctors and nurses attending to me and I have gone for 30 fractions of Radiation Therapy, and now I'm finally on this estrogen reducing pill called Tamoxifen. Its supposed to reduce the chances of the cancer recurring in the breasts. (May Allah bless each and every one of the doctors.. AND if any of you need doctors.. God forbid.. just let me know.. I'd be glad to give you their numbers!)
It’s been a roller coaster ride mind you. I’ve been in and out of sadness and being scared about dying more than I did when I was in labour for all 4 children. Plus physical changes i.e. skin discolouration and the surgery scar is a constant reminder of this scary episode in my life.
HOWEVER, as the saying goes, "after rain comes sunshine", Allah almost always rewards you after a period of sadness with great happiness we can never imagine, InsyaAllah - Ours came in the form of an invitation for Zairul and I to perform our Hajj.
Zairul & I completed the 5th pillar of Islam over a period of 43 days over the months of October through to December of 2011. Despite all the sadness that 2011 had given us in the beginning, Alhamdulillah we have been blessed with ultimate happiness and fulfillment which is beyond words to describe, after the completion of our Hajj.
I am truly humbled by the Hajj experience and am truly grateful for EVERYTHING my life has to offer. I am especially grateful for my Mr El-Hdji, who suggested this journey and took it with me with utmost love and patience.. **hugs to HJLO**
I was planning to write about the trip, but there's just too much to tell and I'll never be able to end it, as there is no ending.. But I would like to share some pictures of our pilgrimage which I took using my faithful phone..
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At Kompleks Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya, on departure day..
